i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
