Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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