I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You made out with two different species that night
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
