You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
