you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
