Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
