So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
