Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
