New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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