I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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