maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize