When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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