pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
