Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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