Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
