was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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