I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
