Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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