Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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