You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
