just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
