Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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