do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
