erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
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