I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
