It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize