I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize