Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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