and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize