is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
