I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
