I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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