I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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