I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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