i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
