Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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