Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
