I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
