That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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