Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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