Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
cat food counts as protein by the way
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
