i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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