My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
