did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
