so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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