She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
