She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize