nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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