it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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