I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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