Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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