I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
