Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
