Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
