We won't sleep together?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
