it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
