i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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