I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
