so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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